(Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash)
2018 has been a mixed reaction for me.
At first, I welcomed it with open arms and depression and asked it to give me a challenge. At first, it was very much timid, it through the odd curve ball at me; deteriorating my mental health, the odd spat here and there. I didn't exaclty go into 2018 with a healthy mindset so it was sort of karma that it backfired on me after that. Though I rekindled things after some drama, let go of people who did nothing but hurt me and used me as a tool against others, things still weren't right.
May rolled round and I had moved to London.
I was happy at first. Enjoyed the freedom and the ability to work as I wanted; with whomever I wanted. I worked for Pink News, a couple of small youtubers and big youtubers here and there, did some photoshoots. It was good, until it came time to face the reality that I just couldn't survive as a freelancer in a big, British capital pond. I made a choice to continue on with my education, leaving London in September and unwillingly spending another rent's worth for a place I wasn't staying in anymore. I started my Master's in Global Journalism and Public Relations and so far, it's not been bad aside from some asinine behaviour from people who're meant to be organised and professionally disciplined. Guess that prove a theory I've had for a while, but that's a post for another time.
So that catches us up to now; Christmas was great, and this last week has been lovely. Spending time with family; seeing my sister move out and go out into the world with her new home and her independence at last, and I've finally been on the up-and-out with my mental health being on the mend. 2019, I don't want a challenge. But I also don't want easy. I've come to terms a lot about myself this year; who I am as a person currently and who I want to be.
2019 is going to be the year I change a lot about myself, implementing what I've learned - like how to see people for who they really are past the drama and the chaos of socialising, the anxiety of the unknown and more. I plan to sort my life out to be more productive to go alongside my growning fixation on being organised; I want to be fit and health, I want to be able to look in the mirror and be confident about what I see on the outside and the inside.
This is the year, I'm finally going to be able to accept me.
I have a wishlist - I want to find a job that I can be happy about; that accomplishes my goals and objectives. I want to be successful and productive; I started my Twitch channel back up, made plans for YouTube and hopefully I plan to establish myself as a Writer and Editor. 2019, let's get started.